I've been feeling incredibly stretched lately. I'm awake 18-20 hours a day and it's really beginning to mess with my sanity. I become closed off and shelled in and I have such a hard time relating to people. I have a hard time being affectionate and looking people in the eye. I can't do this to my children. There's only one person that's been able to get me out of my shell in a positive way, and that's Mike. He sees me disappearing and he brings me back and keeps me grounded. He will grab me and hold me or tease me and tickle me and I snap back to myself. Then he will talk to me and force me to talk about how I'm feeling. I feel safe to tell him what is in the deepest parts of my brain and that is when I realise that I'm not myself. It doesn't change how tired and stretched I am but it reminds me to be more affectionate to my hubby and babies. I need to snap out of this. I need more rest.