I don't know why... I can't stop the tears or the horribly slow suffocation I am experiencing. Taking a deep breath comes out ragged and I must hide it from my children. Their presence makes it worse. They hold me under as they giggle and ask constantly of my attention. I'm hungry. I need to go potty. Livy won't share. Emily is being mean. I am being bombarded when all I want to do is hide. I work. I go to the office and work. I go home and work. 17 hours of every day I am being asked to do something for someone else. Normally it's not a big deal but something is not right. With me. I'm temporarily broken. Unfortunately there are no Out of Order signs for mommies. I just have to get a grip. Get a grip, X. Get. A. Grip. I am the most blessed person I know. I have a wonderful family. A wonderful husband. A beautiful home. Zero money problems. Fuck. I have no reason to feel this way. Goals: up my vitamin D. Eat more dark chocolate. Find more time for myself......stop fucking crying.