Oh, Dland….how I miss you. I wish I had more time to be on line but there just aren’t enough hours in the day. I managed to do some dishes and get a turkey soup going between my baby’s tantrums. I don’t know what’s going on at Grandma’s while I’m at work but it’s obvious that my little darling is getting spoiled. You know, I’m not the worst mom in the world but I’m pretty lousy. I play with her and feed her and keep her clean but I don’t hold her all of the time like I’m sure most moms do. I like to have my space. I don’t like to be clung to all hours of the day. I want to be able to put her down so that I can just sit for a moment and enjoy not having someone touching me. I know….it sounds awful…. Plus how am I supposed to get things done if there’s a baby on my hip all of the time? I don’t know how Mike’s mom does it. Today I got her out of her crib, a little crabby because I didn’t have a sufficient amount of sleep and she was crabby for the same reasons, I’m sure. I change her diaper as she screamed in protest. I don’t have my glasses on and I’m sure I have an eye booger in my left eye because everything seems really blurry. I feed her and try to rock her back to sleep so that I can at least get another half hour of sleep in but she’s crabby and cries while I try to soothe her. I lose my patience and put her in her swing. She screams and cries some more. I take her out of that and try to soothe her and she continues to scream. I put her in her play pen with all of her stuffed animals. She plays for a few minutes and then begins again with the screaming. “Olivia. That’s it. You are going in your bed and you are going to stay there until you calm down….and mama chills out.” I then turn off all of the monitors and let her be while I get dressed, wash the crap out of my eyes and try to feel human. It’s 8 am and Mike wakes up. I had fallen asleep on the couch for about 10 minutes but my body is sore from the lopsided cushions and the way I was hunched over. I plug the monitor back in and the baby is sleeping. I made myself breakfast; boiled egg, slice of whole grain, whole wheat toast with low-fat cream cheese and a banana shake with mocha and instant coffee. The baby wakes up a few minutes after I’m done eating and she’s quietly talking to her stuffed hippo. I think to myself, “I need to wash that thing, it totally reeks.” I walk into her room singing that song that’s been on every single tv show since the Grammy’s, “All the single ladies, all the single ladies!” Olivia loves that song, so I do what I can to make her smile. The rest of the morning went a little better but she definitely is one needy little gal. If I’m not holding her, she gets pretty crabby. Did I mention that she’s over half my height now? Not even six months old…. The kid is going to be an Amazon.