Oh, Dland�.how I miss you. I wish I had more time to be on line but there just aren�t enough hours in the day. I managed to do some dishes and get a turkey soup going between my baby�s tantrums. I don�t know what�s going on at Grandma�s while I�m at work but it�s obvious that my little darling is getting spoiled. You know, I�m not the worst mom in the world but I�m pretty lousy. I play with her and feed her and keep her clean but I don�t hold her all of the time like I�m sure most moms do. I like to have my space. I don�t like to be clung to all hours of the day. I want to be able to put her down so that I can just sit for a moment and enjoy not having someone touching me. I know�.it sounds awful�. Plus how am I supposed to get things done if there�s a baby on my hip all of the time? I don�t know how Mike�s mom does it. Today I got her out of her crib, a little crabby because I didn�t have a sufficient amount of sleep and she was crabby for the same reasons, I�m sure. I change her diaper as she screamed in protest. I don�t have my glasses on and I�m sure I have an eye booger in my left eye because everything seems really blurry. I feed her and try to rock her back to sleep so that I can at least get another half hour of sleep in but she�s crabby and cries while I try to soothe her. I lose my patience and put her in her swing. She screams and cries some more. I take her out of that and try to soothe her and she continues to scream. I put her in her play pen with all of her stuffed animals. She plays for a few minutes and then begins again with the screaming. �Olivia. That�s it. You are going in your bed and you are going to stay there until you calm down�.and mama chills out.� I then turn off all of the monitors and let her be while I get dressed, wash the crap out of my eyes and try to feel human. It�s 8 am and Mike wakes up. I had fallen asleep on the couch for about 10 minutes but my body is sore from the lopsided cushions and the way I was hunched over. I plug the monitor back in and the baby is sleeping. I made myself breakfast; boiled egg, slice of whole grain, whole wheat toast with low-fat cream cheese and a banana shake with mocha and instant coffee. The baby wakes up a few minutes after I�m done eating and she�s quietly talking to her stuffed hippo. I think to myself, �I need to wash that thing, it totally reeks.� I walk into her room singing that song that�s been on every single tv show since the Grammy�s, �All the single ladies, all the single ladies!� Olivia loves that song, so I do what I can to make her smile. The rest of the morning went a little better but she definitely is one needy little gal. If I�m not holding her, she gets pretty crabby. Did I mention that she�s over half my height now? Not even six months old�. The kid is going to be an Amazon.