A bunny and a bear are pooping in the forest.
* 2009-04-18 - 10:41 a.m. *
As of today, Olivia is one week and two days old. The delivery was amazing. The Hypnobirthing method is nothing short of a miracle. Granted things didn�t go exactly the way I wanted them to go due to special circumstances but I still had an easier time then most first time mothers. Most of you don�t remember this but about five years ago I had a procedure done on my cervix to get rid of some nasty cells. That procedure left me with some scar tissue that wouldn�t let me dilate. *** My water broke sometime around midnight and we strolled into the hospital around 3am. Well guess what! My water really didn�t break; it just kind sprung a leak. The leak didn�t stay leaking for long. Nope, it somehow closed itself. I�m not sure how that happens. So I was in the hospital for a whole lot longer then I wanted to. Contractions were coming hard, I was 100% thinned and I was still only 2 centimeters. At exactly noon they broke my water, for real this time. I was in hard labor for three hours and still no change. That�s when the scar tissue was discovered. So I was asked to deviate from my natural birth plan. At that point I was more than willing to get things going. Self hypnosis can help with pain for the most part but when morale starts to diminish so does the will power to keep calm and focused. I found that instead of relaxing into the contractions, I was starting to buck up against them and the constant interruptions from Mike�s phone ringing and having my blood pressure constantly monitored wasn�t helping. �Ok, that�s it. Give me some drugs and give me the pitocin.� They gave me a narcotic to take the edge off and then an epidural. They botched the epidural the first time so now I have two holes in my back. The good thing is that I was still able to feel my contractions, so I was able to still use the Hypnobirthing techniques. I was fully dilated in half an hour and it was time to breathe the baby down. Our amazing nurse was there the make sure things went well. Mike asked, �How long does this part usually take? Should we be calling the doctor?� �No, don�t worry. This usually takes a long time. Once the baby is crowning then we�ll call the doctor.� Fifteen minutes later she was calling the doctor to our room. Five minutes after that I was holding my beautiful baby girl. The only thing I really remember about that is that it felt like I was using the #2. So I had to make a poop joke. �A bunny and a bear are pooping in the forest,� contraction, �The bear asked the bunny, �Do you have a problem with poop sticking to your fur?� Contraction. �The bunny replied, �No, actually I don�t.� Contraction. �So the bear used the bunny to wipe his butt.�