I have decided to forgo Lamaze. I’ve decided to go to hypnobirth classes instead. Mike’s a little leery about the whole thing but the way I stated it to him, (in a fit of pregnant rage that was totally unfounded), “I’m the person pushing this baby out and I’m going to do it the way I WANT TO!!!!” You know, I was expecting to have a sympathetic, loving husband that totally understood all of my odd pregnant behavior but it’s totally not the case. He won’t read any of the books so therefore has NO clue what’s going on with me. I explain it to him and he gives me this look like, “come on now.” The worst was when I was complaining about how fat my belly was getting and he just looked at me and said, “Because you’re pregnant, stupid.” Of course he was laughing his ass off and trying to get me into the joke he so brilliantly came up with but I wanted to rack him right in the balls that had gotten me into this fattening situation. Yes, pregnancy is fattening. There should be a label. Calories: 300,000,000,000 By the way, he is totally loving and understanding, he just doesn’t take my shit. Dammit!!! *** Mike and I had a super busy weekend. We bought a very pricy closet organizer dealio. We spent the entire weekend putting it together. It looks super awesome though. It’s like a celebrity closet. Except instead of glitzy red carpet wear, there are fat pants and oversized shirts. “It’s because you’re pregnant, Stupid.” That actually is my mantra now. I know!!!! But it works. Whenever I start feeling low about myself I just giggle and say, “It’s because you’re pregnant, Stupid.” Like just now, “Why the hell did I just eat two corn dogs AND a lunchable?? Imagine all of the calories!!! “Oh yeah, it’s because you’re pregnant, stupid.” *** So back to hypnobirth! It’s supposed to be the shit as far as pain management during labor goes. I’m not totally forgoing the drugs and stuff but I would like to try to do this as natural as possible. People with UC and Crohn’s tend to abruptly come out of remission after delivery and the drugs tend to be one of the triggers. So if I can do it without I’m going to.