Tomorrow will be better
* 2007-09-27 - 9:59 a.m. *
I think I�ve been really good in dealing with the fact that I�m sick. I�m aware of what I�m capable of and I�m aware of my limits. Of course I try to blow those limits out of the water but sometimes I just have to accept what I�ve been given. Days like today�I just want to curl up in a ball and whine and be pissy and not deal. But I�m grateful for the fact that my good days are becoming more frequent and my bad days are a once in a while kind of thing. Doesn�t make them any less awful. I�m weak. I�m down 3 pounds since Tuesday. I ache. Not just in my tummy, but in my joints, in my muscles�I�ve put myself on a liquid diet because I can feel the food passing through my d-tract and it�s like fire and nails and glass followed by salt. I didn�t want to get out of bed but I can�t just avoid the world because I don�t feel good. I have to do my job. I have to carry on with my daily chores and all of the other stuff that I do. I can�t complain. I can�t have an excuse. This is who I am. I have to live with it. I hate that I can�t really think straight. I hate that I�m kind of in a haze right now. But it will pass just like it always does. Days like today go fairly quickly. And then I�m back to being myself. I just have to remember that it�s just a bad day. Tomorrow will be better.